There Goes My Saturday
by RavenGhost
Summary: What started off as a wonderful Saturday is ruined when Tony is kidnapped by probably the most annoying person he's ever met. Obviously, this pisses Bruce off. Hulk's got some smashing to do. Light Tony/Bruce.


**Greetings there! My, I haven't written fan fiction in quite some time-so forgive me if I end up butchering Tony in this little one-shot I've come up with! Saw **_**The Avengers**_**, loved it to death; especially the whole Tony/Bruce thing you just **_**knew**_** they were implying throughout the whole film! You're not here to read my notes, though! You're here to read a story! By all means, continue!**

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'_There goes my Saturday…' _Tony Stark thought grumpily as he flew through the sky. Well, had he actually been flying _himself _he might have been thinking something entirely different. However, he _wasn't- _and that completely ruined his previously good mood.

Things had been going great on said Saturday. He woke up around eleven, ate breakfast and happily began working on a new project with Bruce. Everything had been all rainbows and sunshine until some crazy loon in a red and black ninja suit decided that he wanted to kidnap Tony Stark and force him to build weapons.

Really? What happened to just _asking_ him for favors? It'd be a hell of a lot easier than breaking into his lap and kidnapping him. Since when did he become the dude in distress?

He sighed as he looked over the edge of the small hover craft they were currently on. It was just his luck, too-he'd been bound by his wrists and ankles; left to simply roll around. Far below, he could make out the skyscrapers of New York City.

Yeah, he wasn't rolling off this thing anytime soon. Looking off to the side, the genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist decided that now was as good as time as any to see just _who _had decided to kidnap him on this perfectly good Saturday.

"Hey, ninja boy," he called out, unsure as to _what _this person's name actually was.

Said 'ninja' was happily driving the hover craft, humming what Tony really wanted to describe as the most annoying song in the world. He frowned, looking at all of the weapons he had basically strapped to his back: two katanas and two uzis. How had he managed to break into Stark Tower in the first place?

"Hey!" He tried again.

This managed to catch the person's attention, the ninja turning to look at Tony. "What! Can't you see I'm driving here!"

"I can, and a horrible job at that. Mind telling me just _why_ you've decided to ruin my Saturday? You do know that I'm not going to make any weapons for you."

"Oh! I know that! I'm not kidnapping you because _I _want weapons! I'm kidnapping you because someone paid me a shitload of money to! They want your smart brain!"

"Uh, that's great. Mind telling me who it is?" Tony asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Nope! I've got to keep it a secret!"

"Ah, mind telling me who _you_ are? If not, I'll just keep calling you 'Ninja Boy'-I'm sure that will get annoying after a while."

'Ninja Boy' slammed the breaks on the hover craft-Tony jerking forward as they came to an abrupt stop in mid-air. He blinked in surprise before looking up at his captor in confusion.

"You don't know who I am!" Ninja Boy exclaimed-Tony thought he was on the verge of crying.

"Listen, I know a lot of people-and I've never seen anyone quite like you."

The 'ninja' did not look pleased. "What! You've _never heard of me!_ I'm the greatest fucking assassin out there! Does that ring any bells!"

"No…not really." Tony admitted, shrugging. "Hey, would you mind uniting me? I'm worried I'm going to roll off the edge of this thing and plummet to my doom."

However, the now upset 'ninja' was currently ranting about now nobody knew who he was (Tony could have sworn that he heard something about pancakes in there) and how Galactus was the biggest douche for firing him last month.

"But! I stole this nifty flying…thing from him! Pretty cool, huh!"

"Yeah, it's great-mind telling me who you are?" Tony sighed. Even during the whole rant the now very annoying ninja hadn't revealed his name. Really, Tony just wanted to get off this damn thing, suit up and kick this guy's sorry ass for kidnapping him in the first place. He was going to spend time with _Bruce_ today. All Saturday, with his adorably sexy boyfriend!

The ninja suddenly pointed his finger in the air, and Tony could have sworn he saw it somehow shine in the light for a brief moment.

"Very well then, uninformed citizen! I shall reveal to you my name, so that you may know just how _friggin' awesome_ your abductor is!"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"I, my good sir, am none other than-"

"_**ROAAAARRR!"**_

"-HOLY SHIT THE GREEN GIANT!"

Tony had enough time to think 'What the fu-' before _something_ huge and green slammed into the hovercraft they had occupied mere seconds ago. It took Tony less than a second, however, to see that his boyfriend was less than pleased that he had been taken away from him by some loony ninja.

The hovercraft was basically ripped in two from the force of Hulk slamming into it, both Tony and the crazy ninja flying off in different directions.

"OH MY GAWD! GIANT ASPARAGUS PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANEEEET!" he screamed as he fell towards New York City.

Thankfully, Hulk reached out and grabbed Tony as gently as he could before the smaller male could fly out of his reach. Relief shot through him as he felt the green giant's arm wrap him. This relief was quickly filled with the feeling of his stomach flying into his throat as the duo fell alongside the ninja.

The fall was quicker than expected, Hulk reaching out with his free hand to grab the side of a building and using it to slow their decent to the ground. The two landed with a rather light noise, while the ninja that decided it would be smart to kidnap Tony Stark somehow landed a few feet in front of them-his body slamming into the ground with a sickening 'splat'.

Hulk set the smaller male down, Tony discovering that the rope around his wrists had gotten loose during that whole fiasco and quickly worked them off before uniting his ankles. He stood up next to his now green boyfriend and blinked at the man who had crashed into the ground in front of them.

"OoOOooooowwww…" he groaned, trying to push himself out of the small crater his body made with his right hand. Tony was shocked-how the hell could he still be alive?

"I'm…okaaaaaaaayyy…the author has dubbed it that I live…" the mysterious ninja managed to pull himself up, Hulk instantly taking this as a threat against Tony and moved in front of him-roaring so loudly at him that he nearly fell over.

After a moment, he seemed to remember just _what_ had happened had happened in the sky mere minutes ago.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed, "I was NOT expecting the Green-Freaking-Giant to fly from frigging _nowhere_ and blow me up out of the sky! What the hell sort of person are you that you get the King of Vegetables to save your ass!"

Tony poked his head out from behind Hulk. "Ah, actually you're wrong on that. This isn't the Green Giant you're thinking of. This is my boyfriend."

"Woah…" the ninja seemed in complete awe. "Wait-if _this _is your boyfriend then how do you-"

"He's only like this when he's angry." Tony quickly cut off before the conversation could take an awkward turn.

"Oh…why is he angry?"

"Because you tried kidnapping me." he deadpanned.

"Hmmm, yeah. I guess that's a pretty ligament reason for someone to get pissed off." the ninja mused out loud, rubbing his chin in contemplation.

"Oh well!" he reached to his back and pulled out the two Katanas that were sheathed there. "I'm still going to kidnap you!"

He lunged at them-weapons intent to kill. "Nobody can stop me! For I am the _AMAZING-_"

However, his epic dialogue was cut horribly short when Hulk pulled his right arm back and basically pimp slapped him into space.

Tony blinked, watching as the crazy ninja screamed and flew into the sky, vanishing from sight-though he could still faintly hear him screaming his lungs out. Wordlessly, he looked over to his 'savoir'.

The Hulk was standing there, huffing in mild anger.

"Hulk no like crazy red man."

"Ditto." Tony agreed.

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**Review if you like! Review if you don't like! I'd like to see if anyone can guess who the mysterious man is! (Pssst! He **_**is**_** a Marvel character!)**


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